Mrs. Darkside (PG13)

[apogeum]

It's been a while since I've done this but I figured I could do it again. Though this time I'm not going to write a fantasy script in one go. So I don't know when I'll finish it, for now I wrote the first act. The title is an obvious reference to Miley's favorite band ;).

I have to warn that the first part of the story is fine for everyone to read really but the rest wouldn't be! That's also why I put the age warning in the title.

I wrote this in Final Draft which is professional script writing software, so it's set up like an actual script would look (an approximation anyway, never seen an actual Hannah Montana script). Copy pasting it from Final Draft in here messed up the formatting a bit. For people that want to read it in the format it should look like they can also read it here (http://www.starletlinks.com/mrsdarkside.htm), I'll update it every time when I put up new parts so that's the complete thing.
ACT ONE

SCENE A

FADE IN

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

MILEY IS SLEEPING IN CLASS, SILENTLY SNORING. LILLY WHO’S SITTING BEHIND HER TRIES TO WAKE HER BY WHISPERING HER NAME AND KICKING HER SEAT.

LILLY
(whispering)
Miley.....

MILEY DOESN’T REACT, SHE CONTINUES TO SLEEP. MR. CORELLI NOTICES LILLY AND SEES MILEY SLEEPING, HE WALKS UP TO HER DESK.

MR. CORELLI
Miss Stewart......

MILEY DOESN’T REACT.

MR. CORELLI (CONT’D)
(shouting)
Wake up!

MILEY
Five!

MR. CORELLI
Five what?

MILEY
Eh.... Nothing.

MILEY GIVES MR. CORELLI A BIG SMILE.

MR. CORELLI
Now stay away.

MILEY
Of course.

MILEY TURNS AROUND TO FACE LILLY.

MILEY (CONT’D)
Why didn’t you wake me?

LILLY
Have you ever tried to wake yourself?

MILEY
You should have at least tried.

LILLY GIVES MILEY A BLANK STARE.

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY

MILEY AND LILLY GET OUT OF THE CLASSROOM AND STEP INTO THE HALLWAY.

LILLY
What’s going on, this is the third time that you fell asleep in class this month?

MILEY
I don’t know, I just haven’t been sleeping well.

OLIVER WALKS UP TO THEM HOLDING A NEWSPAPER.

OLIVER
Have you guys read this?

LILLY LOOKS AT MILEY SURPRISED.

LILLY
Oliver reading a newspaper?

MILEY
Yeah, you’re not getting sick are you?

MILEY HOLDS HER HAND TO OLIVERS FOREHEAD, HE BRUSHES IT AWAY.

OLIVER
I’m not sick. You guys should pick up a newspaper once in a while too.

MILEY
Picking it up isn’t a problem, it’s more the reading part that gets boring.

LILLY
Except for the comics.

MILEY
Obviously.

OLIVER
Would you two pay attention for just one second?

MILEY AND EMILY CROSS THEIR ARMS.

LILLY
Fine.

OLIVER
There’s a serial killer out there.

MILEY
A serial killer out in Los Angeles? Who would have thought something like that would be possible in such a peaceful town.

OLIVER
Well this one is active right here in Malibu. He sneaks up to people from behind and slits their throats and leaves them to bleed to death.

LILLY
Is he attacking teenagers?

OLIVER
No, he attacks in the middle of the night. Not that many teenagers around.

LILLY
What are you worried about then?

MILEY
Yeah Oliver, don’t worry.

THEY START TO WALK DOWN THE HALL, MILEY PUTS HER ARM AROUND OLIVER.

MILEY (CONT’D)
Just make sure that you never turn your back on anyone, you’ll be just fine.

LILLY TAKES OUT A PEN AND WALKS UP BEHIND OLIVER, SHE BRUSHES THE COLD PEN ACROSS OLIVER’S NECK, HE SHRIEKS. MILEY AND LILLY LAUGH.

MILEY (CONT’D)
That and stay home at night like a good little boy.

CUT TO:

ACT ONE

SCENE B

INT. STEWART HOUSE - DAY

MILEY AND LILLY WALK IN THROUGH THE DOOR, MILEY THROWS HER BOOKBAG ON THE COUCH. ROBBIE RAY IS IN THE KITCHEN COOKING.

MILEY
Hey dad, what’s cookin’?

ROBBIE RAY DOESN’T RESPOND.

MILEY (CONT’D)
Dad?

MILEY WALKS UP TO ROBBIE RAY AND WAVES HER HANDS IN FRONT OF HIM.

MILEY (CONT’D)
Hello.

ROBBIE
Mr. Carelli called today.

MILEY LOOKS AT LILLY.

LILLY
Bye

MILEY
Sweet nibblets.

LILLY LEAVES THE HOUSE, MILEY TURNS BACK TO ROBBIE RAY WITH A BIG GRIN.

MILEY (CONT’D)
Hello.

ROBBIE
He told me that you fell asleep in class again.

MILEY
Well.....

ROBBIE
We had this discussion before, you can’t stay up on the internet all night.

MILEY
But I’m not.

ROBBIE
Why do you keep falling asleep in class then?

ROBBIE RAY GOES TO A CUPBOARD TO GET SOMETHING, WHILE HE DOES THAT MILEY TAKES THE SPOON AND STARTS TO STIR IN THE POT.

MILEY
I just haven’t been sleeping well.

ROBBIE
Well, until you’re sleeping alright again your computer leaves your room after 9 PM.

MILEY
That’s not fair.

ROBBIE
So I’ve never caught you chatting with Lilly at 1 AM then.

MILEY
Her mother stopped her doing that.

ROBBIE
And now I’m stopping you doing it.

MILEY FAKE PUNCHES ROBBIE RAY ON THE SHOULDER.

MILEY
You big woman, you’re turning into one more and more every day. Just because Lilly’s mom does it, it doesn’t mean you have to do it.

ROBBIE
Still I am doing it.

ROBBIE (CONT’D)
No but dad, you can give me your computer at 9 PM tonight.

MILEY LEAVES THE ROOM VISIBLY UPSET.

END OF ACT ONE

[huskerrich]

more please

[apogeum]

I wrote two more scenes but here follows the big disclaimer:

There's violence in this part and it's something Disney wouldn't make in a million years. So it's everything but a realistic episode. If people don't want me to continue writing please let me know. Probably even more rated R than PG13 which I put in the topic title. I'm just weird so I tend to write weird stuff at times :P.

CUT TO:

ACT TWO

SCENE C

INT. MILEY’S BEDROOM

MILEY IS IN BED WORKING ON HER LAPTOP AS ROBBIE RAY ENTERS HER BEDROOM.

ROBBIE
It’s 9 PM bud, you know what means.

MILEY SHOWS ROBBIE RAY THE SCREEN.

MILEY
See dad, I was doing homework, not chatting.

ROBBIE
Doesn’t matter, give me the laptop.

MILEY LETS OUT AN ANNOYED GRUNT, CLOSES THE LAPTOP AND GIVES IT TO ROBBIE RAY.

ROBBIE (CONT’D)
Now go to sleep, if you sleep at night you won’t fall asleep in class.

MILEY TURNS OF THE LIGHT AND COVERS HERSELF BEFORE ROBBIE RAY IS OUT OF THE ROOM.

ROBBIE (CONT’D)
Good night bud.

MILEY DOESN’T SAY A WORD AND JUST LAYS THERE; ROBBIE RAY EXITS THE ROOM AND SHUTS THE DOOR.

AFTER HE HAS LEFT MILEY GETS OUT OF BED BUT DOESN’T TURN ON THE LIGHT, SHE HEADS FOR HER HANNAH CLOSET AND ENTERS.

INT. HANNAH CLOSET
MILEY TURNS ON THE LIGHT IN THE CLOSET AND HEADS FOR A CORNER IN HER CLOSET, SHE TAKES OUT A BOX.

MILEY
Get me in trouble will you Mr. Corelli, we’ll just see how much trouble you are in.

MILEY OPENS THE BOX, SHE TAKES OUT A REDHEAD WIG WITH A TIGHT PONYTAIL AND CLOTHES. SHE PUTS ON A BLACK CATSUIT AND PUTS ON THE RED WIG, SHE COMPLETES IT ALL WITH BLUE LIPSTICK AND VERY DARK EYELINER. SHE PUTS ON BLACK LEATHER GLOVES AND REACHES INTO THE BOX AND TAKES OUT A DIVING KNIFE, SHE TAKES IT OUT OF ITS HOLSTER AND CHECKS THE BLADE. SHE PUTS IT BACK AND PUTS THE HOLSTER ON HER BELT.

MILEY (CONT’D)
Here we go.

SHE TURNS OFF THE LIGHT AND EXITS HER CLOSET.

CUT TO:

ACT TWO

SCENE D

EXT. DONUT SHOP - NIGHT

MR. CORELLI COMES OUT OF THE DONUT SHOP HOLDING A BOX OF DONUTS, HE GETS TO HIS CAR AND PUTS THE DONUTS ON THE ROOF TO GET HIS KEYS TO OPEN THE CAR DOOR. HE HEARS SOMETHING COMING OUT OF THE ALLEY. HE TURNS AROUND, FRIGHTENED.

MR. CORELLI
Is there anyone there?

HE HEARS NOTHING AND TURNS BACK TO HIS CAR.

MR. CORELLI (CONT’D)
I’m the one who wanted donuts so I shouldn’t be chickening out here.

HE DROPS HIS KEYS.

MR. CORELLI (CONT’D)
Shoot.

AS HE PICKS UP THE KEYS MILEY IS STANDING BEHIND HIM, LIKE A SHADOW OVER HIM, HE DOESN’T NOTICE HER. AS HE GETS UP MILEY TAKES OUT THE DIVING KNIFE AND SLITS HIS THROAT FROM THE BACK, HE GRABS ON TO HIS THROAT BUT GOES DOWN DROWNING IN HIS OWN BLOOD.

MILEY
What do we say to the girl who you got her computer taken away? Unjustly I might add.

MR. CORELLI CAN’T RESPOND, NOTHING MORE THAN A GARGLE COMES FROM HIS MOUTH.

MILEY (CONT’D)
Yeah, didn’t think so. You sound like my uncle earl when he’s eating pudding too fast.

MR. CORELLI LOOSES CONSCIOUSNESS, HE’S DEAD.

MILEY (CONT’D)
Bye bye.

MILEY WIPES OFF THE BLADE ON MR. CORELLI’S CLOTHES, SHE PUTS IT BACK IN ITS HOLSTER AND DISAPPEARS INTO THE NIGHT.

[crazy_in_a_good_way]

Very interesting. Write more?

[ilygracie]

omg, thats freaking.but good.
moreness

[Bucky Kentucky]

I like it. It's very creepy.

[caylee[:]

this is a little creepy. xD
but good, continue.

[apogeum]

And here I thought people would be freaked out and call me insane. Maybe I am but that's for everyone to find out.

Guess I'll continue but probably not until after the weekend.

[huskerrich]

remind me not to make you mad, more though

[apogeum]

Oh don't worry, I'm completely anti violence. Guess I have to express my built up aggression somehow though :P.

[Hannahfan_eva211]

lol i won't ever make you mad :O moree!

[apogeum]

Why do people think I'm a dangerous person all of a sudden..... it's only a story. And if you don't believe I'm a peaceful person just watch out, I'll be coming to get you.

No violence in this part but the warning remains.

INT. STEWART HOUSE - DAY

LILLY AND MILEY ARE ON THE COUCH WITH THE TV ON; A NEWS REPORT COMES UP.

REPORTER (O.S.)
The Malibu Slicer has struck again, last night high school teacher Frances Corelli was found dead outside a donut shop.

LILLY
What?

A TEAR COMES TO LILLY’S EYES, SHE JUST DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. MILEY SITS UNMOVED NEXT TO HER, SHE GETS UP AND WALKS INTO THE KITCHEN.

MILEY
Do you want some popcorn?

LILLY
How can you even think about eating right now?

MILEY
What? I’m hungry and it’s only Mr. Corelli.

LILLY SAYS NOTHING AND CONTINUES TO WATCH THE NEWS REPORT. WELL MILEY GETS TO A CUPBOARD AND TAKES SOME POPCORN OUT.

REPORTER (O.S.)
For the first time ever security cameras managed to catch a glimpse of the slicer.

MILEY DROPS THE POPCORN ON THE FLOOR AND TURNS AROUND NERVOUSLY?

MILEY
What did they say?

LILLY
They have a picture of the slicer, come quickly.

MILEY RUSHES OVER TO THE TV. THEY’RE SHOWN A BLOWN UP PICTURE OF MILEY IN HER RED WIG AND HER BLACK CATSUIT. LILLY JUST STARES AT THE PICTURE WONDERING.

REPORTER (O.S.)
Where police were suspecting a man it actually turns out a woman is the Malibu slicer. Details of the crime will not be made public because of the current investigation. If you have any information about who this person might be please contact your local police.

LILLY GRABS THE REMOTE AND PAUSES THE PICTURE ON THE TV AND KEEPS STARING IT. MILEY SLOWLY MOVES BACK TO THE KITCHEN TO CONTINUE THE POPCORN MAKING

LILLY
Hey Miley, what happened to those boots I gave your for Christmas?

MILEY
What boots?

MILEY TAKES A KNIFE OUT OF THE KNIFE BLOCK ON THE COUNTER AND HIDES IT BEHIND HER BACK AS SHE SLOWLY MOVES BACK TO LILLY. LILLY TURNS TOWARDS MILEY.

LILLY
The black boots, the ones you wanted so badly. I haven’t seen you wearing them since then really.

MILEY GESTURES WITH HER LEFT HAND WHILE HOLDING THE RIGHT HAND WITH THE KNIFE BEHIND HER BACK.

MILEY
Oh those boots, I’ve worn them. Guess you just didn’t notice.

LILLY
I’m quite sure you haven’t worn them since.

MILEY
Don’t be silly.

LILLY
They’re kind of similar to those don’t you think?

LILLY POINTS AT THE TV.

MILEY
Not really. It’s a bad quality image from a security camera with a woman who’s wearing boots that might be similar to mine anyway. Hard to tell anything.

LILLY
Who would want to kill Mr. Corelli anyway, I don’t know why anyone would kill him.

MILEY
(mumbling)
Someone who he unfairly gets into trouble.

LILLY
What did you say?

MILEY
(grinning)
Nothing.

LILLY
So why would someone do it......

MILEY
Maybe someone felt he was giving her too much homework.

LILLY
That’s not a reason to kill someone.

MILEY
It’s a serial killer, they don’t always need a motive.

LILLY
I think there’s only one student he had trouble with recently.

MILEY JUST STAYS QUIET; LILLY TURNS OFF THE TV.

LILLY (CONT’D)
Where were you last night?

MILEY
(stuttering)
In bed, where else?

LILLY
At the donut shop?

MILEY STAYS QUIET FOR A SECOND THINKING. SHE LAUGHS AND AS SHE MAKES A WAVING AWAY GESTURE SHE REVEALS THE KNIFE.

MILEY
Where did you get that silly idea?

LILLY JUMPS UP SCARED AND MOVES BACK, MILEY SEES THAT SHE REVEALED THE KNIFE AND QUICKLY HIDES IT AGAIN.

LILLY
It is you!

MILEY SMIRKS EMBARRASSED.

LILLY (CONT’D)
(silently shouting)
Were you going to kill me too?

MILEY WALKS BACK TO THE COUNTER AND THROWS THE KNIFE ON THE COUNTER.

MILEY
No; would have been a bit hard to hide that one.

MILEY AND LILLY JUST STARE EACH OTHER, NOT SAYING ANYTHING. ROBBIE RAY COMES THROUGH THE BACK DOOR.

ROBBIE
Hey there Lilly, how ya’ll doing today?

MILEY LOOKS AT LILLY, URGING HER NOT TO SAY ANYTHING.

LILLY
Oh you know, nothing major. Just hanging out with Miley.

MILEY AND LILLY LAUGH.

ROBBIE
If you two are up to something I don’t even want to know. It’s Saturday and that’s a day off for me as well.

MILEY
Oh don’t worry, we’re not up to anything. We’ll leave you alone now; we’ll be in my room.

MILEY WALKS UP THE STAIRS TO GO TO HER ROOM BUT LILLY HESITATES.
MILEY STOPS AND LOOKS TOWARDS LILLY.

MILEY (CONT’D)
Are you coming?

LILLY
(hesitant)
Sure....

LILLY FOLLOWS MILEY UP THE STAIRS.

[huskerrich]

EEEEEEp, more please

[Hannahfan_eva211]

eeeeeeeepperz moreee. I was just playing with you xD

[apogeum]

I'll post more tomorrow, enough for today, even though I already finished the next scene.

For people who want to read it in the proper format I also put it in html online http://www.starletlinks.com/mrsdarkside.htm I'll also update that link when I add more.

[apogeum]

As promised her is the next part, I also updated it on http://www.starletlinks.com/mrsdarkside.htm if you want the proper layout.

Again no (real) violence in this part but the warning remains :P.

CUT TO:

ACT TWO

SCENE F

INT. HANNAH CLOSET

LILLY IS SITTING DOWN BUT SHE TWITCHES NERVOUSLY, MILEY IS WALKING AROUND. SHE HEADS TO THE BACK OF THE CLOSET AND TAKES OUT THE BOX. SHE PUTS ON THE LEATHER GLOVES, TAKES OUT THE DIVING KNIFE AND TAKES IT OUT OF ITS HOLSTER.

LILLY
(nervously)
Why?

MILEY
Why what?

LILLY
What do you think?

MILEY
Oh this?

LILLY
Why would a normal girl like Miley Stewart, or Hannah Montana whatever the case may be, go around town killing people?

MILEY
Girl? You heard the news reporter, I’m a woman.

AS MILEY SPEAKS SHE MOVES AROUND THE KNIFE.

MILEY (CONT’D)
You have no idea what it feels like, the sensation, the adrenaline rush.

LILLY
Could you please put the knife down, I’m nervous enough as it is.

MILEY MOVES BEHIND LILLY AND PUTS THE KNIFE TO HER NECK.

MILEY
(grinning evilly)
Why are you scared?

LILLY
Eeeep!

MILEY
Don’t worry, I don’t want get blood all over my closet.

LILLY
So you would kill me if we weren’t here?

MILEY TAKES THE KNIFE OFF LILLY’S THROAT.

MILEY
Depends on whether you can keep your mouth shut or not.

LILLY
Just tell me why? You’re not a violent person. At least I didn’t used to think so.

MILEY
Violent? Where did you get that silly idea?

LILLY
You slit people’s throats open!!!!

MILEY
So?

LILLY
That’s just wrong?

MILEY
Ya think?

LILLY STANDS UP.

LILLY
Well yeah.

MILEY
Depends on how you look at it.

LILLY WALKS AROUND THE ROOM NOW KNOWING WHAT SHE SHOULD SAY.

LILLY
How, why, when did this start?

MILEY
Well, back in Tennessee Uncle Earl thought me how to butcher chickens once.

LILLY
Who would teach a little girl to butcher chickens?

MILEY
You’ve met Uncle Earl haven’t you? Anyway, that feeling you get when slicing the throat of that chicken the first time, that power you have over life, it’s just amazing. It’s as if the life force of the chicken flows into you. Only when we moved here I couldn’t exactly do it anymore.

LILLY
The “Malibu Slicer” has only been active for a couple of weeks!!

MILEY
Hannah kept me satisfied for a while but it just didn’t quite do it.

LILLY
So why didn’t you butcher a couple of chickens?

MILEY
Chickens in Malibu?

LILLY
Doesn’t mean you can switch to humans.

MILEY WALKS AND GETS THE CATSUIT OUT AND WALKS BACK TO LILLY.

MILEY
Maybe not but that’s not important right now.

LILLY
If it isn’t what is?

MILEY
Getting you to keep your mouth shut and there is only one way to make sure of that. Besides shutting you up forever that is.

LILLY
Eeep!

MILEY PUSHES THE CATSUIT AND THE KNIFE INTO LILLY’S HANDS.

MILEY
You’re going to do it too.

LILLY
What?

LILLY PUSHES THE THINGS BACK INTO MILEY’S HANDS.

LILLY (CONT’D)
I most certainly will not!

MILEY
You kind of have to.

LILLY
Mrs. Serial killer of the decade says what?

MILEY PUTS THE CATSUIT AND KNIFE BACK INTO THE BOX AND HOLDS UP HER HANDS, SHOWING HER LEATHER GLOVES.

MILEY
I don’t have any fingerprints on that knife, you do.

LILLY
But....

MILEY
No buts, either you off someone so you’ll shut up about it forever or that knife will mysteriously find its way to the police.

LILLY
It’s not like the police wouldn’t come after you.

MILEY
And they would believe you why? Do you really think anyone would believe that a couple of sixteen year old girls did it?

LILLY SIGHS AND SITS DOWN, SHE STARTS TO CRY AND DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. MILEY KNEELS DOWN NEXT TO HER.

LILLY
I can’t....

MILEY
Come come now, that’s what everyone thinks.

MILEY PUTS HER ARM AROUND LILLY.

MILEY (CONT’D)
I’ll admit it the first time isn’t the easiest thing but you’ll get over it.

LILLY
The first time? You don’t expect me to..

LILLY HESITATES IN THE MIDDLE OF HER SENTENCE.

MILEY
No you don’t have to do it again. In fact I’ll make you a promise, if you do this I will stop as well.

LILLY
And what would make me believe that you’ll stop now?

MILEY
My word, that’s usually good enough for you.

LILLY
That was before I knew you were murderer!

MILEY
Oh come on Lilly, it’s not that bad. It’s not like we’re going out butchering puppies.

LILLY
That makes it alright?

MILEY
You’re doing it anyway, otherwise you have a bit of a problem.

LILLY
Who do you think I should kill then?

MILEY
I have an idea about that.

[huskerrich]

In the immortal words of Lily EeEEEp

[MileyLaLa]

O_O amazing haha.
will def keep coming back for updates

[Hannahfan_eva211]

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep more! :o

[apogeum]

Who knew MMW had that many sadistic members, actually enjoying this. Only a smart scene now, not all scenes are the same length after all. The previous two are the longest ones. It's updated at http://www.starletlinks.com/mrsdarkside.htm as well

CUT TO:

ACT TWO

SCENE G

EXT. RICO’S SHACK - DAY

MILEY AND LILLY ARE STANDING ON THE BEACH, LILLY IS STANDING PONDERING, NOT SURE WHAT MILEY WANTS.

LILLY
So what are we doing here?

MILEY DOESN’T SAY A WORD, SHE JUST NODS TOWARDS RICO’S SHACK. LILLY LOOKS INTO THAT DIRECTION. THEY SEE A LITTLE GIRL BUYING ICE CREAM.

LILLY (CONT’D)
You want me to kill a little girl?

MILEY GIVES LILLY AN ANGRY LOOK.

LILLY (CONT’D)
What? You’re the heartless killer here.

MILEY
I meant Rico! And I do have a heart, my morals are just a bit different.

LILLY LOOKS AND THINKS.

LILLY
Are you nuts?

MILEY
Who would you like to do then?

THEY WALK TOWARDS THE SHACK.

LILLY
Aren’t you worried about his parents? They’re loaded, who knows what they would do to get his killer.

MILEY
Oh please, no one can love that little creep.

THEY WALK UP TO THE COUNTER AS THE LITTLE GIRL LEAVES.

RICO
Hey there ladies, did you come to get a little bit of Rrrrrrico?

MILEY
Just get us two waters.

RICO NOTICES THAT LILLY IS RATHER NERVOUS.

RICO
Why so nervous tuts? It’s not like you’ve never met the Rico before, there is no reason to be nervous.

LILLY
I...

RICO HANDS THEM THE WATERS.

RICO
Come on baby, get it over with. Then there won’t be anything to be nervous about.

MILEY AND LILLY WALK AWAY.

LILLY
I think I can actually do him.

[huskerrich]

your a mean one apogeum, I don't know where you get this stuff, but I liiike it, I am hooked sung to the tune of Mr. Grinch. the old version

[Hannahfan_eva211]

Lol that one was funny xD More!

[apogeum]

How am I mean? You ask for more and I give you more. And where do I get it? The dark regions of my soul of course.

This is the last part, it had to come to an end at some point. I also updated the full thing on http://www.starletlinks.com/mrsdarkside.htm of course. Now I just have to wait for the call from Disney to see if they want to make it or not.

Warning, there is violence in this part again.

CUT TO:

ACT TWO

SCENE H

EXT. RICO’S SHACK

MILEY AND LILLY ARE BOTH WEARING IDENTICAL OUTFIT, THE MALIBU SLICER OUTFIT. THEY HIDE BEHIND THE BUSHES.

LILLY
So how do we do this.

MILEY
(whispering)
Would you be a little more quiet? Why do you think we’re wearing black here?

LILLY
Because it’s stylish?

MILEY
It’s called stealth, so be as quiet as possible.

LILLY
I’m new at this so give me a break.

MILEY
So lets go over this one last time. You get your knife.

LILLY PULLS A DIVING KNIFE OUT OF A HOLSTER ON HER BELT.

LILLY
Right.

MILEY
Not yet!

LILLY
Sorry.

SHE PUTS THE KNIFE BACK IN THE HOLSTER.

MILEY
Just sneak up behind him, as quietly as possible. You can’t allow him to see you.

LILLY
We wouldn’t want that, no.

MILEY
Then you put your arm around him and just pull the knife across his throat in one smooth motion. You have to make sure to put enough pressure on it. After that he’ll just go down.

LILLY
What if it doesn’t work?

MILEY
Then you’re screwed.

LILLY
Right.

MILEY
There you go.

LILLY
Oh boy.

RICO GETS OUT OF THE SHACK AS HE CLOSES IT UP.

RICO
See you my money making love, daddy will be back tomorrow.

LILLY SLOWLY SNEAKS UP BEHIND RICO, UNTIL SHE STEPS ON A TWIG, AS IT CRACKS SHE QUICKLY HIDES BEHIND A TABLE.

RICO (CONT’D)
Is there anyone there?

AS RICO TURNS AROUND HE SEES NOTHING, MILEY IS OBSERVING FROM THE BUSHES.

MILEY
Rookies....

RICO LOOKS AROUND FOR A BIT BUT DOESN’T SEE ANYTHING.

RICO
I guess not; besides no one can beat Rrrrrrico the magnificent.

LILLY IS STILL HIDING BEHIND THE TABLE.

LILLY
Now he’s getting it.

SHE SLOWLY GETS UP AND SNEAKS UP ON RICO AS HE CLOSES THE SHACK. SHE IS RIGHT BEHIND HIM AND WITHOUT HESITATION SHE PUTS HER ARM
AROUND HIM AND SLICES.

LILLY (CONT’D)
Voila.

RICO TURNS AROUND HOLDING HIS THROAT, LOOKING STUNNED, HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

RICO
What?

LILLY
Miley! You said that would do the trick.

MILEY COMES RUNNING UP.

MILEY
Could you shout my name any louder?

LILLY
You said he would go down!

MILEY
I also said you have to put pressure on it.

RICO JUST STARES AT THEM AND SLOWLY MOVES AWAY. MILEY SPOTS AND PULLS HIM CLOSER.

MILEY (CONT’D)
You’re not going anywhere.

SHE GRABS HIM BUT AS HE STRUGGLES BLOOD IS SHOOTING EVERYWHERE. MILEY PULLS OUT HER KNIFE AND FINISHES THE JOB; RICO GOES DOWN.

MILEY (CONT’D)
That’s how you do it.

LILLY TRIES TO WHIPE THE BLOOD OFF HER CLOTHES.

LILLY
It won’t come off.

MILEY
Have you ever tried getting out blood stains?

LILLY
My mother does my laundry.

MILEY
It shows.

LILLY
You’re right though, that’s one big adrenaline rush.

MILEY
We’re both retired now so don’t get used to it.

LILLY
I didn’t say I would do it again.

MILEY
Good, one serial killer is enough. Now lets get out of here!

CUT TO:

ACT TWO

SCENE I

EXT. RICO’S SHACK - DAY

MILEY AND LILLY ARE BOTH ON A TANNING BED, WEARING SUNGLASSES, RELAXING IN THE SUN, DRINKING SMOOTHIES.

MILEY
See, it’s now two weeks ago and no one has any clue.

LILLY
It’s not even in the news anymore.

MILEY
The Malibu slicer is history. It just shows, sometimes you can get away with
murder.

LILLY
I guess so and who knew that Rico was actually a halfway decent person.

MILEY
What do you mean? He was a little demon.

LILLY
Well, he did leave your brother the shack in his will.

MILEY
Only someone like Rico would have a will at his age.

LILLY
A happy ending for everyone.

MILEY
Almost everyone anyway.

THEY LOOK TOWARDS THE SHACK AS IT NOW READS JACKSON’S SHACK.

END OF ACT TWO

THE END

[huskerrich]

wow interesting story, I wish it wasn't over in someways,

[Bucky Kentucky]

That was hilarious!

[Hannahfan_eva211]

ohh wow moree!

[apogeum]

How can there be more when the story is over? It's only a script for a half an hour sitcom, so that's a more or less normal length for one :).

[MileyLaLa]

that was really good! i loved it :D

[crazy_in_a_good_way]

Nice. :P